15th February 2010

Over the last few week i have tested, had a tutorial and arranged my next test. Trying to arrange models is proving to be hard. Last week i tested on my friend and i was pleased with the outcome for a test. I realised that my initial ideas of the aesthetic being really dreamy and overly washed out probably wouldn't work when i have alot of issues i am trying to address. I think it makes the image seem quite shallow, and almost as if im contradicting what i am trying to say.

I have been intouch with many agencies regarding models for testing, but as fashion weeks are hitting there are little models available. Anyway apart from the stress of finding models i have lots of work on....test shoot thursday, make-up job thursday night...followed by early start on friday for the National wedding shows in London where i will be doing backstage make-up all weekend.... Very hectic week.

Today i was supposed to test but i rushed to bluewater as my test shoot got cancelled, stylist ill so i went to organise my own styling. I am testing with younger girls on thursday....

I have been reading Living Dolls- the return of sexism by Natasha Walter. She speaks of the subject matter of young girls and their vulnerability in today's society. The book Living Dolls, has inspired me to test further but with younger girls.
I want to address the issue of this culture that is effecting the lives of very young girl and the way they see and experience their bodies. They are taught to believe through media the way to gain admiration is through the path of their appearance.The way girls are taught and to focus on independence and self expression is sold to them in the narrowest form of consumerism and self objectification. I wanted to address it in a young photograph as it’s the start of rights of passage to adolescence when we start to explore our sexualities.

I will post my first test shots...i played around on photoshop to get the double exposure.....mind over body seperation....i want my images to be as pure and distinct as a letter...truthful...images always have the last word....i wanted to also create a painterly quality to the images, washed out and hazy like a dream.

So i am going to keep on testing...trying not to stress too much. I have my interm crit next week which i also have to prepare for.....so much to do and so little time.